2014 Ruby Quotes


In 2008, shortly after she began talking, Steve and I started capturing Ruby’s funny quotes in a Twitter account (@areyoubewhy if you’d like to follow it). Here are the tweets from 2014 – all are her exact words.

I like the news. The news is relaxing. 1/26/2014
Mmmm… I like the smell of money. 3/5/2014
My dream date would be with…. myself. And I’d go to a library that was empty and had lots of books… and I’d read, by myself. 3/17/2014
[singing] Take me baaaaack… To five years old….. 3/23/2014
I think it’s the dark that makes my hair tangly. 4/4/2014
It’s not a winning/losing game. You can only lose. 4/6/2014
When I was in the sky the cities looked like circuit boards. 4/12/2014
I throw punches with a lot of force. 5/11/2014
Papa, stop being factual and start being fictional. 5/26/2014
Even though it says “keep away from children” on the label… I’m doing it. 5/28/2014
Each one is a universe, and the plate is the multiverse. Imagine the tomatoes are the sun. The cream cheese is the emptiness of space. The little pinch of zest is the magic. The pickles are the only habitable place for life. And the sesame seeds and the holes are the stars, and the crackers are the hope that spreads through the universe that we all have. 6/3/2014
My least favorite thing is either Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, or war. 8/8/2014
I’m weird and I’m proud of it! 10/14/2014
Owwwwwww! This is a very disagreeable tap. 10/14/2014
That’s a delightful sound! It sounds like sharting. 10/18/2014
Papa, talking about money makes me uncomfortable, so let’s not talk about money. How do wars start? 10/29/2014
Brookstone is amaaaaaaazing 10/29/2014
You know what? If I close my eyes and move my arms, I really feel like I’m swimming. Like dry water. 11/25/2014
Oh the old black rug’s got a hold on me… 11/26/2014
I like “rug” better. It’s less violent. 11/26/2014
Sometimes I eat frog brains. They’re like popcorn. I get them at the zombie theater. 12/5/2014
Nobody burps anymore. 12/5/2014