In 2008, shortly after she began talking, Steve and I started capturing Ruby’s funny quotes in a Twitter account (@areyoubewhy if you’d like to follow it). Here are the tweets from 2014 – all are her exact words.
| I like the news. The news is relaxing. | 1/26/2014 |
| Mmmm… I like the smell of money. | 3/5/2014 |
| My dream date would be with…. myself. And I’d go to a library that was empty and had lots of books… and I’d read, by myself. | 3/17/2014 |
| [singing] Take me baaaaack… To five years old….. | 3/23/2014 |
| I think it’s the dark that makes my hair tangly. | 4/4/2014 |
| It’s not a winning/losing game. You can only lose. | 4/6/2014 |
| When I was in the sky the cities looked like circuit boards. | 4/12/2014 |
| I throw punches with a lot of force. | 5/11/2014 |
| Papa, stop being factual and start being fictional. | 5/26/2014 |
| Even though it says “keep away from children” on the label… I’m doing it. | 5/28/2014 |
| Each one is a universe, and the plate is the multiverse. Imagine the tomatoes are the sun. The cream cheese is the emptiness of space. The little pinch of zest is the magic. The pickles are the only habitable place for life. And the sesame seeds and the holes are the stars, and the crackers are the hope that spreads through the universe that we all have. | 6/3/2014 |
| My least favorite thing is either Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, or war. | 8/8/2014 |
| I’m weird and I’m proud of it! | 10/14/2014 |
| Owwwwwww! This is a very disagreeable tap. | 10/14/2014 |
| That’s a delightful sound! It sounds like sharting. | 10/18/2014 |
| Papa, talking about money makes me uncomfortable, so let’s not talk about money. How do wars start? | 10/29/2014 |
| Brookstone is amaaaaaaazing | 10/29/2014 |
| You know what? If I close my eyes and move my arms, I really feel like I’m swimming. Like dry water. | 11/25/2014 |
| Oh the old black rug’s got a hold on me… | 11/26/2014 |
| I like “rug” better. It’s less violent. | 11/26/2014 |
| Sometimes I eat frog brains. They’re like popcorn. I get them at the zombie theater. | 12/5/2014 |
| Nobody burps anymore. | 12/5/2014 |